I am kind of at a point of feeling like I hate everything, only not really? Just. Very stressed, and depressed, and been on the verge of a panic attack for the last few days. Like, skating along the rim of the panic hole, teetering just there, holding my breath so I don't go tumbling over into the chasm of horror and curled up weeping.
IDK.
I know what the major, primary cause is right now: roommate drama. Just. She owes me like, $1000+ (not including food), and another roomie ~$800, and claims she doesn't. She doesn't do her share of the work - has to be told to do anyfuckingthing - and eats more than two of the rest of us together. And doesn't buy even half as much food as she eats. And then instead of grocery shopping, and making lunch to take to school, she always--- It's not important.
There's just too much stuff to even start.
The long and short of it is, she's been told she needs to leave. Because of all those reasons, and others; she doesn't help, she doesn't share food, she doesn't do anything but sit around, and read/write Kpop RPF. Which. Okay, RPF creeps me out, but whatever? I mean, I'm the last person to rag on someone else for being fannish. Except she does almost nothing else.
Blargh.
It's really fucking hard though, because she's a friend - was a friend? - and we share two classes and a lab. And are lab partners. But I have this feeling that she's going to stop pulling her own weight in the lab soon, too. And she's just been manipulative, and passive-aggressive, and. Yeah.
Okay, so that's the proximate cause of my yucks.
I also miss my people; Tyger, and Lars&Zaph, and Danii, and Kels.
And I feel tired. And I hurt. And my allergies are awful.
I hate everything. Except not really.
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Bad roommates suck. :( I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with them.
And I hope your allergies go away, and that your anxiety/panic goes away without going into a full attack.